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Advice from a Happy Marriage of 20 Years

Callie and Frank Daruk, who have been married for 20 years, share some tips for a happy, faith-based marriage.

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Callie: Hi, I’m Callie.

Frank: And I’m Frank.

Callie: We have the honor today of bringing you some quick marriage tips. We celebrated our 20th-year wedding anniversary this March, and God has blessed our marriage.

Frank: Amen.

Callie: But it has not been easy, has it, honey?

Frank: No, it hasn’t. It’s been work.

Callie: Yes, it has. We have learned one of the things, to weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice. You know, Scripture tells us to do that. And sometimes in marriage we want to fix the person or fix their problem, but sometimes we just need to sit and weep with them or sit and rejoice with them. And we’ve had our share of weeping.

Frank: The one thing about marriage, you’ll always hear people say that it’s 50/50, and that is completely wrong. Marriage is 100/100. You have to give 100% and your spouse has to give 100%. You need to look at your spouse with love and forgiveness, not fall into the human trap of maximizing their sin and minimizing your own. You need to try your best to minimize their sin in your eyes and maximize your own, so that you can humble yourself and ask them for forgiveness. You have to love the person enough to go to that place that’s uncomfortable and ask them for forgiveness, even if you don’t feel like you’ve wronged them. It’s humility, and it’s also grace.

Callie: You’ve forgiven me for a lot in 20 years, honey.

Frank: I still think I hold the title.

That’s how marriage is, you give, you take, you share and you laugh. You love, but try to laugh, laugh as much as you can.

Callie: Love never fails, God’s Word says that. And we have learned to love each other through thick and thin. We’ve watched God’s faithfulness, and asking that God would give us the ability to see each other through God’s eyes. That’s helped us so much.

Frank: And a lot of, lot of love.

Callie: Yeah, I love you, honey.

Frank: Love you too.

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