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We Have a Plan

The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.—PSALM 145:9 (NIV)

“This food tastes funny,” I say to my husband, Jean-Claude.

“Here let me try it,” he says, taking a bite. “It’s fine. It tastes good to me.”

This exchange in a restaurant is familiar to both of us; these are our code words for when I am feeling paranoid and fear that my food is poisoned. Many times, having my husband taste my food is enough to get me over the worst of my irrational fears, but not this night.

“I can’t eat it,” I say.

“Here, you take mine, and I will take yours,” he tells me, switching our plates.

As usual, he thought ahead and ordered something he knew I would like. Between my schizophrenia and my anxiety disorder, eating meals out—a once common occurrence for us—is now rare. When things are acting up for me, especially in public, Jean-Claude covers for me in front of friends. He never wants me to experience embarrassment or shame for experiencing symptoms that I can’t control.

Dear God, only you see my heart and mind and know my intentions. Please help me even if it means I may not always get what I want.

Adapted from
Strength & Grace Magazine

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